Ok, we’re gonna go deep with this one…
I recently stumbled across an article by Mark Manson, you know the guy that wrote “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck”.. and it literally shook me. I see 4569373 articles everyday online but for whatever reason, this one caught my attention. If you wanna read the article, you can read it here .. it’s a bit long but worth the read.
Basically, the article starts by saying how we would all like a perfect life, to be rich, have a great relationship, to be happy, to have a big house.. very easy things to want. People ask you all the time what do you want? What would make you happy? ….
“A more interesting question, a question that perhaps you’ve never considered before, is what pain do you want in your life? What are you willing to struggle for? Because that seems to be a greater determinant of how our lives turn out.“
Think about it.
We all want great things for ourselves, but are we willing to work for them? To be rich are you ready to work really really hard and take risks? To have a great relationship, are you willing to go through the fights, the late nights and the conversations?
Personally work-wise, I feel like some people view people with marketing careers or numerous other careers that appear to be glamorous as having NO struggle. No one sees the late nights, overbooked calendars, time away from home/family/friends/dogs, massive amounts of work, last minute deadlines, behind the scenes, dealing with outside influences, self discipline, constant craziness, creating content, etc. (listen I’m not saying poor me, I’m just saying nothing good comes easy ). I love my work very much but don’t be fooled, there’s been struggles. And I love it; without struggle there’s no reward, without process, no result. Simple if you think about it, really.
But let’s go deeper than just work.
To me, this article resonates in many areas of my life: my relationships, family, fitness, friends, life, etc. Each area has had crazy, intense struggle before. Family for me is all about building. Building up stronger relationships with the people in your family. You might be exhausted after work and the gym or whatever else but make the time. Sit down for cup of tea with your mom and have a chat about your day, go see your grandparents every week, text your aunt to tell her some news you have. Yes, you’re tired but the outcome is always positive and will strengthen your family relationships!
Fitness is about the process for me. Most days I dread going to the gym but once I’m in there I love the sweat and the pain I put myself through because I know I’m going to get results. To get your beach bod you have to put in the time! You have to eat right and meal prep. It’s not gonna come to you just because you want it to. This “if you want something hard enough it will happen” is bull! If you WORK hard enough for something you’ll get it. Fitness is a prime example of this for me.. my first few PT courses I worked hard, I went to the gym and gave it 110% four times a week, I meal prepped to the gram, had my one cheat meal and stuck by it! I just finished another PT course last week, a twelve week one and I am so disappointed in myself. Everything was the same as before but I was different. I lost my motivation. Yes I went to every PT but I could have done better. I didn’t stick to my diet and I ate what I wanted. I didn’t put on weight but I didn’t tone up like I wanted to because I didn’t work hard enough. I’ll be back to the gym this week with a vengeance.
Relationships are about the journey. I have great relationships! Aaron, my best friends, the girls. But yes, of course there have been struggles! Many, many struggles. I’ve had sleepless nights, hour long conversations, months without speaking, arguments, bitchiness, tears. But it was worth it. My relationships are stronger because of these struggles.
So I don’t want to hear about your destination, I WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR JOURNEY. Are you attached to an outcome or the growth? What tickles your fancy enough to make you actually embrace the struggle, the ride, the process? To crave the struggle because you know it’s worth the result.
In my life, with any type of struggle comes some kind of beauty. The most eternally beautiful people have struggled.
And besides, perfection is boring. There’s something sort of really beautiful in the struggle. There’s depth in it, you know?
Just have a think about that question.. “what pain do you want in your life?” and start your week with a new mindset.
P.S seriously read that article!